HW 18 - Health & Illness & Feasting

My experience this holiday fit both into the anti body and body centered practices of the American culture. I was the head chef for orchestrating thanks giving dinner, this meant that I had to spend hours preparing the menu, making grocery lists and accommodating the rest of the families wants. On thanks giving I needed to wake up early and head over to my mom’s in order to start the prep work for later in the day. This was an anti body experience because I ignored the fact that I was tired in order to wake up early so my family would have a smooth traditional thanks giving. In my mind it was necessary that everything went according to plan, and this was unconsciously more important than getting enough sleep. After the thanks giving meal I wanted to clean the dished and set the table with dessert dishes but my legs were sore from sitting all day so I let my grandma get them while I stayed seated. This was a body centered experience because I desired to clean and let my guests rest but I focused on my body and let myself relax.

I would say that food was about 65% of the focus of the thanks giving get together, 20% was about family, 10% was about the Jets vs. Bengals game at 8:30 and 5% was focused on how to make everyone comfortable, how to cause the least amount of stress, and finally how to get everyone out of our apartment once our family started overstaying their welcome. One of the main reasons that my mom and I host holiday parties at our house is because everyone else in the family is horrible cooks. It’s either that they can’t cook or they don’t take each dish seriously enough so they end up half ass-ing the meal and using boxed potatoes or frozen prepared sides. I am sure that there is a lot of repressed emotion for the family when they get together so it’s possible my mom attempts to make the food as perfect as possible to make up for the family issues. The plan is that if the food is the center of the event then nothing else can be.

My family was as mobile as they could have been in the apartment, there were empty chairs but not due to any illnesses. My grandfather was sick though, he was acting strange early in the evening and when we sat down for dinner he didn’t wait for everyone to sit down or for my grandmother to say grace he just stated eating. He was not jolly at all on thanks giving and the only one who actually had a conversation with him was my mom’s boyfriend who spoke very sarcastically. I think the family resents my grandfather; he does do certain things to deserve it though (like not waiting for everyone to sit down especially those who cooked the meal). I know I would cry if my grandfather died and I would be incredibly sad and I think his wife and his children and others would too but it’s so hard not to get frustrated with him and not to feel resentment. But now that thanksgiving is over its time to plan out the Christmas meal to the dime in attempts to make that one as flawless as possible.

HW 17 - First Thoughts on the Illness & Dying Unit

I personally haven't experienced a lot of illness and dying in my life. I have only lost one immediate family member that I was close to. The illnesses that have occurred I haven't taken seriously. when I was little my aunt had breast cancer but I wasn't exposed to the reality of her condition all I knew is that she didn't have any hair and was tired a lot. Most recently my mother had anemia and was getting multiple blood transfusions and that affected me but I don't ever remember being scared that her anemia would get worse or it would make her permanently sick. It’s safe to say I haven't experienced a lot of loss; the most traumatic experience would be when I received calls that my grandparents were in the hospital, I wasn't given much information and therefore assumed the worst scenarios. My grandfather is obese and is unhealthy he has been for a long time and it will probably affect his life span but I am not sincerely worried for some reason.

My parents and I don’t really talk about illness or dying they don’t give any profound advice. We will only talk about it when it’s reliant to our lives (if a loved one is ill). They have encouraged me talk to something if I have any questions or problems concerning dying or illness though. I remember in 9th grade I was really emotional because one of my friends who was in college was drinking a lot and I was concerned that he was going to drink himself to death and my mom talked to me about it and told me everything was going to be alright, I can’t remember if that actually helped or if my worry eventually went away over time.

Some possible unusual perspectives I have about sickness and death are that whatever happens things will be okay. In all my experiences of having to deal with sickness or death I had been shocked, and then the problem resolved itself before I could have any further emotions. Due to my lack of exposure to dying and sickness I don't know how I would handle having to accept that someone close to me was in tremendous pain and I couldn't help them. The thought of not being able to say good bye to a loved one before they die frightens me, because they won’t know how much I really care about them. But I also believe that death only affects those it leaves behind, where as illness affects the patient and the ones surrounding the patient. I'm curious to find out how the reaction to the news of fatal illness, illness and death are different from each other in different people and what makes their reactions different.