Insights:
1. Beth said that her husband would say “I’m not bleeding so I must be fine”
2. When Erik went on the clinical trial Beth said she understood but doesn’t believe that Eric understood the agreement being made.
3. The doctors told the wife how he was really doing but didn’t tell Eric.
4. Erik’s family never used the words “dying, death, afterlife, or gone” they remained positive 100% of the time.
5. Erik’s family placed his artwork and photos around his room so people could see him as a person and not for his sickness.
6. Beth said that her husband rather be paralyzed if it meant surviving as long as he could still use his hands to make art.
7. Erik had stopped eating so Beth would go to get him sashimi, and the people at the restaurant knew who it was for and Erik’s condition.
8. Beth said she wanted to photograph her husband but he wouldn’t allow it.
I think many of the insights were had something to do with secrecy as well as openness. It sounds like Erik was shelter (or deiced to shelter himself) from the idea of death or dying, due to the fact that words which connoted ideas of death were promisingly avoided. From my understanding of Erik’s family’s experience, the process of dying was not hidden or sugar coated or discreet, but his actual death was. This isn’t good or bad, but I find it interesting that in all the experiences I have been exposed to there is always an element of secrecy, possibly implemented (consciously or unconsciously) as from of protection or to create a sense of comfort.
When I heard that art work and family photos were placed around the room it made me rethink how I would want my experience to be if I was ever in a hospital suffering from an illness. I think the art and photos serve as comfort and inspiration for the family and the patient but also, like Beth said, remind the patients visitors that regardless of the illness hopefully the persons illness is just a phase and they are still the same inside.
Further thoughts:
I was curious if Beth and Erik’s family talked about Erik’s death with other people or if it was never spoken about. I was also wondering why Erik didn’t want photographs taken of him and if Beth regrets not taking any. Beth had said that she doesn’t always cry when she thinks of her husband but that it would be certain things like car accidents that would spark tears, I thought that maybe her tears are being shed for the family of the injured or sick (because she knows how it feels to be in their place). Finally I was interested to know if Beth ever wished that her husband had slipped into a coma or if she is grateful for the way Erik died. I also want to thank Beth for coming to share her story with us it was a privilege to listen to.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you connection with what Beth had done for Erik and what you would want if you were ever admitted in a hospital. Like you, I also found it interesting how Erik was protected and discouraged from thinking about death. I also liked your thoughts on why Beth feels upset every time she sees anyone injured/sick.
I also liked how you ended your blog by pondering whether Beth was relieved/grateful that her husband died the way he died instead of something less painful such as a coma.
One thing i think you should include in your next blog is how you would have reacted if someone is your family was diagnosed with cancer (God forbid). Just try to make it more personal.
Overall, a really good blog. Keep it up. :)
- Abdullah