HW 23 - Illness & Dying Book, Part 2

My Brother by Jamaica Kincaid published by Farrar Straus and Giroux in 1997

Précis: Jamaica disuses her relationship with her family and mother, she is very repetitive when she speaking about them clarifying who she feels is really her father and how she feels about her mother and other brothers. Devon becomes increasingly better and develops dreams of having a family and a house of his own. Jamaica reveals that she liked it better when her brother was ill and closer to dying, when he didn’t have any dreams. Her brother soon takes a turn for the worst and dies. Jamaica and her mom go to the cemetery to try to find where Jamaica’s step father is buried but they can’t due to the fact that someone was buried over him.

Insightful quotes:

“He lived in death. Perhaps everyone is living in death, I actually do believe that, but usually it can be seen; in his case it was a death I could see” -88

-this stood out to me because in our culture the dominant discourse is that people aren’t dying or “living in death” until they show physical signs or are told by a medical professional.

“Everyone I told that my brother had just died said how sorry they were… they hoped to convey the sincerity of their feelings; they really were sorry that this person they would not have liked at all. [The words ‘I’m sorry’] are such a good thing to hear if you are in need of hearing them.” -105

-This made me realize that the recipient of “I’m sorry” may have an opinion towards the use of those words. It’s interesting that she points out that even if the apologizer doesn’t know the dead person they will still apologize, which makes me think that they are sorry for the family member or friend rather than the dead person.

“I was so tired of him being in this state, not alive, not dead, but constantly with his necessities, weighing on my sympathy…I wanted him to go away I didn’t care if he got better or if he died.” 108

-if Devon died then Jamaica could go back to not knowing him, not thinking about him, not pitying him and not feeling any guilt.

I think it’s true that when a person close to another is sick the well person has resentment. The sick one is getting all the attention and the well one could feel survivors’ guilt in a way. Or possibly just be angry and in partial denial about the “loved” ones illness. I also think that death and dying can toy with feelings of love; the well one may think they love the person because they know they will be gone soon but they may also realize that they weren’t very close to the sick one at all.