What better way for a divorcing family to ease a 6 year olds mind then to buy them some gold fish? I was allowed to have two one was dark colored and probably wasn’t a gold fish, and then there was La La who was bright orange, with shiny scales. In my 6 year old mind they were both girls and were an exciting reason to leave the playground early. One particular day I came home to greet them and one was missing! At first I couldn’t imagine where it could be, and then my mom broke the news to me that she had to flush the dark one down the toilet because it died during the day. I was horrified that she didn’t keep it for me to attend to, I had been the one feeding it and cleaning the tank with assistance for its whole life, now all of a sudden I had no rights to caring for it?! Ludacris! Eventually I got over it and my mom got a new apartment on a new block surrounded by new places to get candy and ice cream, but La La came with me, even when my mom and I got our first cat and our second one…and when we moved to the 4th LES apartment. It was clear that whenever La La would die it was going to be a big deal, not so much her death because by the time she was around 2 years old I just expected it, but what to do with her once she could no longer swim in circles in her little world. So once my cat no longer found interest in chasing La La around her bowl with its paw, out came the zip lock baggie. And soon enough space was made next to the frozen peas and left over Italian icy.
My mom let me deal with my fishes death my own way, she didn’t make me get over it or force a time line for how I should feel. Although I waited for it to die, I think it’s important that people are able to live in their own environment comfortably. I also think should be told that they will be taken care of the way they wish after they die, so they don’t have to worry about that while they are still living. I’m not sure the importance of fulfilling their wishes, how the person is dealt with after they die is not for the dead person it’s for their family. Death only affects those who are left behind, so they should have the right to do whatever makes it easier for them.
why is it illegal to spread ashes in most places?
what are lesser known ways of caring for the dead, why does no one know about them?
what forms peoples view points of what is best to do with the body of a dead person?
why is it illegal to spread ashes in most places?
what are lesser known ways of caring for the dead, why does no one know about them?
what forms peoples view points of what is best to do with the body of a dead person?
The goldfish were to be a first pet experience and I didn't expect the fish to die so quickly. It was a stressful time and I thought if I made it disappear before Amanda came home she wouldn't notice. Wrong! We did replace the first fish many times but every new one we got would die soon after. LaLa was the stalwart. She(?) lived for such a long time even with cat stress. When she died I wanted Amanda to grieve in her own way and keeping the fish close by eased the loss. LaLa wasn't gone forever we could take her out and look at her whenever we wanted thus bringing back memories of good times and bad. -mom
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that a fish could be so significant to my sisters views about her childhood and how she approaches death. I agree that people should be comfortable in their environments but not that once they die their families can do what ever they want with them. maybe our current system is not morally ideal but we also cant have bodies floating down the east river. - Theo (younger brother)
ReplyDeleteI really liked this blog post. The way it was written made me automatically think of the gold fish as if they were people and got me thinking about what's the right and wrong way to deal with a death.. I liked it because it was talking about gold fish so it made everything seem simple and not as big of a deal.. I enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteGreat blogpost Amanda, thanks for making the text bold, defiantly made the post stand out. I enjoyed reading your blogpost. I liked the way you talked about a personal experience with death even though it was a gold fish. This helped show that even something as small as a goldfish can be a big deal when it comes to death. Keep up the good work.
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