From the first scene of the movie it seems as if Harold stages his death to get the attention of his mother, he didn't leave his role even when she would ignore his "death". Up until the end of the movie Harold lets his mom, thearipiest, and dates talk throughout their whole interaction, even when people ask him questions the directer responds by presenting a new setting. For every conversation he had that he didn't find pleasant he would pretend to kill himself. This originally I thought this was a test for the other person in the scene to see if they can accept him for who he is but it could also just be to show them how they make him feel.
Harold's relationship with Maude is different from all the other relationships in the movie, instead of demanding him to talk she invites him to add to the conversation. Maude seems to be open to death, but that might be a falicy because she tends not to focus on it. Her role in the movie was to share with Harold her clear understanding of life/death in order to give him perspective and have standards for the way he is treated. An example of this is the scene where they are talking about which flowers they want to be Harold states that he wants to be like the white ones due to their sameness. She points out that they are not similar and that allowing yourself to be treated as if your identical to someone else causes the greatest of suffering. She then proceeds to place a white flower in her hair. Later in the movie she has larger white flower/bow/hair clip at this point in the movie Harold has become a much stronger, open character.
Harold's mother refuses to believe that he is ever dead. One could argue that she is numb to seeing him dead but she never approaches him to talk to him about HIS feelings. This leads me to believe that she refuses to comfort death. She is constantly pushing her views on him to the point that he refuses to even respond with anything else than killing himself.
I didn't particularly think that the major theme in this movie was death, when writing this post I had more to say about character relationships then the affect of death on each individual character alone. I guess death may affect each person differently but it didn't seem to be significant unless you also talk about how it affects their interactions with others, after all death is nothing without the living so there is only so much you can say about it before the focus of the conversation is re-aligned to the present.
Favorite quote: "...people get upset because they feel like they have a whole lot they get attached to things, they could be gone tomrrow so I remind them not to get attached to things."-Maude
#4
1. Emerson, Deanna “Inanna’s Ascent” Stein, Diane. Casting the circle: a women's book of ritual. Crossing Pr, 1990. Print.
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Summary: Deanna has seen the goddess of death, but she never knows when it will come or go. The world continues even if someone dies, as we are surrounded by darkness we are really surrounded by those who have passed on before us.
Usefulness: This poem connects death and nature in such a way that one will feel as if death is not something to fear but is a natural rite of passage. It allows the reader to accept death as part of being alive.
2. Rossetti, Christina “When I am Dead, My Dearest” Georgina, Christina, Rebecca W., and Betty S.Christina Rossetti: the complete poems. Penguin Classics, 2001. Print.
Summary: Rossetti is telling her loved one not to grieve or commit the traditional rituals when family is grieving, because these cause more sadness. She says she won’t be aware of her surroundings good or bad so there is nothing for her family to be happy or sad about.
Usefulness: This poem uses rhyme scheme to attract an audience and then contradicts common grieving practices. This can be useful to someone because it shows that there are customs of going against the grain of the dominant social practice.
3. Swenson, May “The Lowering” May Swenson, “The Lowering” from New and Selected Things Taking Place (Boston: Atlantic/Little Brown, 1978).
Summary: Swenson describes the simple folding of a united states flag, in such a confusing manor that it seems as if he’s commenting on the inner confusion he faced when he experienced the death. The second half of the poem is about how the flag was given in replacement of Robert Kennedy life.
Usefulness: “The Lowering” uses a tone of offense when talking about how Robert Kennedy’s life can be replaced by this complicated folding of a flag. Often times after people die they get thought of as material objects, the urn, the casket the funeral ordeal. This poem shows the two are not equals and should no longer be considered equal.
4. Shakur, Tupac “In the Event of my Demise” Shakur, Tupac. The Rose That Grew from Concrete. MTV, 2009. Print.
Summary: Tupac senses that he will die soon; he hopes that when he does it’s for a cause that he believed in. He is not afraid of his death, and he sends his love to all those who supported him throughout his life.
Usefulness: In this poem Tupac confronts his mortality; this is helpful because most of us don’t have this kind of hold on reality. The fact that he died sooner than if he had a “natural death” is interesting because it makes me question how aware of mortality were his family and friends?
Summary: This poem gives the perspective on events right before someone’s death. Tupac shares his opinions about how that person was treated as they got closer and closer to death; he ends the poem by stating that he mourns his “fallen star.”
Usefulness: Although this poem has much more to do with pre death emotions Tupac makes it clear that dying and caring for the death have much to do with each other. This poem also glorifies death, and shows the reader that there are positive things that grow out of grief.
6. Gibran, Kahlil “On Death” Gibran, Kahlil. The Prophet. Intl Pub, 2002. 80-81. Print.
Summary: In order to accept death you must be willing to explore and understand that is very much part of life. You should not focus on your fear of death but rather how accepting it can greatly improve your life. Don’t ever be satisfied because what you think will help you understand death wont.
Usefulness: This is the first poem that I read that directly stated the rules about death. After each guideline Gibran gives an example to how that rule can be found in nature, this helps the reader to remember that life and death are parts of nature.
7. Cummings, E.E “Now I Lay (with Everywhere Around)” Estlin, Edward. E. E. Cummings: a selection of poems. Harcourt, 1965. 181. Print.
Summary: Cummings talks about dying surrounded by everything yet around nothing. He states that life is temporary but death is permanent and that his afterlife belongs to no one else but him.
Usefulness: This is the first time that I read a poem talking about having ownership over death. This helps me realize that maybe people “own” their deaths and have such extravagant funerals in order to become more accepting of it.
8. Poe, Edgar “Spirits of the Dead” Allan, Edgar. Spirits of the dead: tales and poems. OOO LabirintRu, 1997. Print.
Summary: You will be alone, but not lonely, the spirits of the dead will surround you, your environment won’t be as it should. Your thoughts won’t disappear, God will be with you in subtle ways.
Usefulness: Poe connects environment and god to death. He gives the point of view that god will be able to access you through nature.
9. Franklin, Benjamin “Death is a Fisherman”
Summary: Franklin is comparing death to a fisherman and how we are the fish. If we get touched by his net we must be taken out of the ocean.
Usefulness: in the poem death is referred to as a man, and that made me think back to other interpretations of death and how often it is portrayed as a man, this makes me wonder if there are is sexism in the way our culture views death.
10. Boleyn, Anne. “Oh Death, Rock Me Asleep”
Summary: Boleyn says in her pome that death will put her to rest, nothing but death can fix her problems. She is in so much pain that she hopes to die soon.
Usefulness: I have haven’t deeply analyzed the perspective of death being a positive thing. This poem shows how from the patients perspective that death is constructive to her wellbeing. I wonder what kind of positive view points a family member of the patient would have.
11. Wilcox, Ella “A Burial” Wheeler, Ella. Yesterdays. 2004. Print.
Summary: Ella describes how a picture of her husband who died helped strengthen her despite her loss. But then the government needed to make it official and she could no longer look at the photo.
Usefulness: this poem shows a transition of feelings towards the death of a loved one. It does a great job of highlighting that it is common to feel a variety of emotions when handling a loved ones death.
Summary: This poem is describing that when she dies she cannot be reached at her grave. If you want to get in contact with her you will be able to through common found beauty.
Usefulness: I found this poem to be more upbeat and inspiring then the others I read, she strongly assures her loved ones that they should not grieve because she will not even be there.
13. Auden, Wystan “Funeral Blues” Hugh, Wystan. Selected poems. Vintage, 2007. 48. Print.
Summary: Stop everyday life, even the things you can prevent, this person is dead. Decorate the town and control the stars and the tide because this person is dead.
Usefulness: Auden seems to be making fun of the death care practices because he is making demands that can’t possibly be met. He is sending the message that life goes on beyond death. No matter what.
14. Pordon, Judith “Twisted Rose”
Summary: Many people were asking the same girl out, but one of them tried harder than the rest and somehow ended up dying. Now the girl is left with only a broken rose.
Usefulness: This poem was translated from Spanish to English so it didn’t seem very cohesive but it shows a point of view of death from a third perspective.
15. Gibran, Kahlil “On Pain” Gibran, Kahlil. The Prophet. Intl Pub, 2002. 52-53. Print.
Summary: Your pain is natural and it will not last forever, you will feel joy again. While this is true you can also choose to feel certain pains, be wise and don’t waste your energy.
Usefulness: Gibran takes the point of view of grief or pain which is some of the after stages of death. This is helpful because it over simplifies understanding the grieving process.
The twelfth poem I chose “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” by Elizabeth Mary Frye, contradicts the dominant social practice of the grieving period. I don’t believe that healthy steps are taken when a loved one dies partially due to the way that funerals are held. But this poem almost mocks loved ones for dealing with grief in the traditional fashion of standing over the grave and looking down at presumable where the body is. This poem makes sense that only the body or remnants of the body is at the grave site but that won’t allow you to truly feel closer to that person. It would make more sense that it would be easier to “connect” with the deceased through unexplainable beauties that occur in everyday life because there are more positive memories that can be sparked other then the memory of the funeral from the gravesite.
The second poem I want to focus on is “In the Event of my Demise” by Tupac Shakur, this poem is written from the perspective of assuming his death will come soon, which is not an unreasonable statement because we are all going to die. This poses a challenge to the dominant social practices because often times people phrase things as if they are not going to die, they don’t plan for it until the social acceptable age. I wonder how everyday life would be if people were truly aware of their mortality. After talking with the guest speakers from the uptown funeral home my expectations that they would me more aware of their mortality were proven wrong. If they don’t have a grasp on the fact that they can die at any point without knowledge then who does?
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